Giggles and Coffee
by QuillVine
Summary: "Granger, what in the name of Merlin is wrong with you, I haven't done a thing, let alone tell a joke, not that I would tell someone as filthy as you a joke unless it's about you!" Malfoy's face was priceless, plus his glare made it even more hilarious… (Dramione implied)….(Based on real events in my Government Class)
1. Giggles and Coffee

First fanfic, was inspired by a day in my Government class.

**Giggles and Coffee**

I walked into potions early as always and made my way to my assigned seat. Yes Professor Slughorn insisted on assigned seating after some incident with Slytherin insulting Hufflepuff last week. I placed my inkwell and quill in perfect parallel lines on my desk and sat down.

_-Now let me just mention that today Seamus blew up all the tea so I was forced to drink that awful instant coffee. What I would do for a latte right now…_

_So back to my point, coffee and I don't mix well, I usually get hyper and either get pissed off or uncontrollably giggly. Lets just say I was not pissed off today. -_

I leaned over to pull my parchment out of my bag and noticed my desk partner Malfoy (why Merlin, just why?!) slumped in his chair so far that his head was where his back should be. I couldn't help but giggle.

Malfoy blinked his eyes open and glanced at me, "What's so funny Mudblood?"

His face was pulled into a scowl and his pet name for me hasn't bothered me since third year when I sucker punched the guy. I couldn't help myself.

"Hahahaha…yo..you…are…hysterical Malfoy!"

He gave me a strange look and started to slide into his seat correctly, knocking my ink over in the process.

This only made me laugh harder, whist malfoy scrambled to grab the ink before it spilled out.

'Stupid Coffee'

"Granger, what in the name of Merlin is wrong with you, I haven't done a thing, let alone tell a joke, not that I would tell someone as filthy as you a joke unless it's about you!"

Malfoy's face was priceless, plus his glare made it even more hilarious.

"Ahahaha, oh gosh your killin me Malfoy!"

I had to hold my sides I was laughing so hard, I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard.

'this is going to be a long day'

Soon after, all the other Slytherins and Gryffindors walked in along with Professor Slughorn. He rolled out a whiteboard that was covered in notes, and I mean so many it made me wish I'd been sick that day. Yes it was so bad that I Hermione Granger didn't want to take notes.

_**2 minutes into class…**_

I had calmed my outburst and proceeded to focus on copying the notes. But the recent memory of Malfoy's face all red and pissed off kept making me giggle.

"Granger, shut up" Malfoy whispered harshly.

"Sorry…haha…'cough'" I tried to hide my giggle but I just couldn't hold it down.

"Quiet please, there is no need for talking at the moment." Slughorn announced suddenly.

I bit my shirt to silence my giggle, but it only muffled it into a strange wheezing sound. I could almost feel Malfoy's glare at this point.

Many deep breaths later, the first few being interrupted by my giggle, I was eventually able to calm myself and continue my notes.

_**5 minutes later…**_

This was precisely when poor Neville's chair broke.

I nearly fell off my chair in silent laughter. Malfoy looked at me and slapped me on the arm.

"Granger, shut the F$%& up, I don't want to loose points!" He almost growled at me.

I couldn't stand it, it made me laugh harder if possible, I fell over into Malfoy's lap and hid my face which no doubt was red from laughing, at least I was not making noise, oh so thankful for the silent laughs.

The instant my head hit his lap however he flinched and nearly fell back in his chair.

"Mr. Malfoy is everything okay back there?"Slughorn began to slowly make his way to the back where our desk was.

Please Malfoy, cover for me just this once, I prayed.

"No, sorry I almost spilled my ink on my robes is all, nothing to worry about, sorry to interrupt." It's so unfair he can sound so bloody calm and collected.

I clumsily acted as if I was just retrieving more parchment and covered my face with my hair as best I could. 'why did I clip my bangs back today'

_**5 minutes later…**_

I had too soon forgotten about my face and raised my head to look at the board again.

"Good heavens! Miss. Granger are you not well, your face is so red!" Slughorns pitchy voice pierced the silence of the room.

S#& ! He saw me, oh god what do I do!

"Oh, you see Professor, this mor…" I started

"Professor some rude Ravenclaw decided to experiment with hot sauces this morning and its probably just a side effect, my face was a bit red earlier too, but I ate earlier so its most likely just wearing off."

Draco Malfoy just saved my butt twice in one day, what the hippogriff!

My laughing ceased as I stared at him in shock.

"Take a picture it'll last longer Granger." His smooth drawl brought me back to reality.

"Like I'd want a picture of you, but besides that thanks."

"Your just lucky I'm in a good mood today." He smirked and turned back to his notes.

_**10-15 minutes later…**_

I had been taking my notes diligently but I made the mistake of glancing at Malfoy again and I felt the endorphins start to build and a tugging at the corners of my mouth.

"..heh..he…heh…hehe…heheha…HAHAHAmmmph"

who knew Slytherin cloaks could be so useful.

"Granger, seriously, you were doing so well," he groaned, "what with you not laughing once for 15 minutes." He didn't look mad at all this time, he was actually smiling too.

Between my muffled giggles I managed a "I'm sorr..rrrii…eee…hahaha"

"Merlin Granger your going to set me off now, shut up." His usually smooth tone was filled with slight chuckles.

_**A few minutes later…**_

Slughorn made his walk around the room to check his students' progress. As he passed our desk I heard Draco hold his breath.

Just two desks up sat Blaise and Goyle, Blaise took out his wand cautiously through his sleeve and whispered some incantation. Next thing I knew Professor Slughorn had a giant portrait of Snape's face on the back of his jacket.

I look up at Draco and we both lost it.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAA OH MERLIN"

"HAHAHAHAHA MY SIDESSSS AHHAHAHA!"

Yup, I'm gone, no control, sorry Slughorn but I can't hold back anymore.

You can't tame giggles especially if they are contagious.

First time writing a fanfic, please give me advice and feel free to critique! :D


	2. Elmo Turtles & What's wrong with Malfoy?

**Elmo Turtles and What's wrong with Malfoy?**

Again my government class is like a three ring circus. And yes everything that happened in this story actually happened today in class. The only thing that is different is the characters.

"BRINNNNGGG!" The bell rang second after I took my seat next to Malfoy in potions. Last week we were got lucky and Blaise was blamed for a majority of the theatrics. Today felt like a normal day, but boy was I wrong.

"Good afternoon students, today you will copy these notes and then we will discuss them after everyone is finished, get to work." Slughorn actually managed to sound assertive for once, so I got to work immediately.

Malfoy, however, took his time getting all his materials out and haphazardly dropped them on his desk causing most of his quills to roll off onto the floor.

"Malfoy, really?" I groaned at him.

"Don't judge me Gryffindor." He sighed as he slumped into his seat. Only then did I notice he had a pair of muggle glasses on. MUGGLE glasses, Raybans to be more precise, and it didn't look half bad; for a Slytherin at least.

"Nice glasses, actually makes you look somewhat intelligent." I mumbled in his direction.

"Sure Granger, whatever you say." He didn't insult me back, what happened to Malfoy?

Minutes flew past and Malfoy didn't move to pick up his quill once, in fact he was now opening a bag of Skittles! Where the heck did he get skittles from, plus it's a MUGGLE candy?!

"crrrh….crrrhhhhh….POP!" In the name of Merlin, I think Malfoy has gone insane.

The stone floors where now very brightly colored with skittles and every desk near us had "skittle rain." Am I dreaming?

"Want one of…whatever these things are." I took me a second to realize his question was directed at me.

"Uhh…shhhhuuurrreee….thanks?" I hesitantly took a few from his open palm and placed them at the top of my desk, I wasn't going to take chances on possibly poisoned or drugged skittles.

Malfoy just shrugged and swung his feet onto his desk and crossed them at the ankles, making even more skittles fly.

'If only I had a video camera, this would be the best blackmail material…oh great now I sound like a Slytherin…what is happening today!'

"Mr. Malfoy, where are your notes?" Slughorn stood at his desk and tilted his head down to examine Malfoy.

"I've finished them professor." He lazily replied.

'Is Slughorn that blind, does he not see that his floors are rainbow and…Malfoy (that explains itself)'

Shockingly Slughorn nodded and sat back down at his desk. I felt my jaw drop, this had to be some crazy apocalyptic dream.

Then it got even more ridiculous. Out of nowhere Pansy started giggling and making weird noises.

"Ehhhh, ereeehh, erehhh….haha!" I tried to see what was going on but Blaise's big head was blocking my view.

"Blaise why do you have to have a giant head." I muttered under my breath as I strained my neck to see around him. Apparently Lavender had heard me and started cracking up. I smiled in her direction.

"Miss. Parkinson what is that strange noise you are emitting?" Slughorn stood and walked to the center of the class where Pansy's desk was.

"Oh, I was being a turtle." She said casually as if it was common knowledge.

'WTF?'

"Miss. Parkinson that sounded much more like an imitation of that red muggle character…what is his name…oh yes…Elmo."

'WTF x 1000000'

"No it is a turtle, I saw this video on Youtube, and its two turtle mating, its really funny, you should watch it." She encouraged and sat forward in her seat.

'How the F% # does she know about Youtube?'

"I doubt that this is appropriate for class, now get back to work." Slughorn dismissed her unenthusiastically as if he really didn't care.

'…no comment….'

A few minutes later…

"Ehhhh,ereeehh, erehhh…." I heard the muted sound of the turtle video and caught glimpse of a lit screen near Slughorns desk. He was laughing softly.

'That did not just happen'

"BANG!" The classroom door flew open and bounced off the back wall from the momentum. Every ones heads flipped around, some even jumped at the sound.

Some kid with dyed blonde hair in Hufflepuff robes stood in the doorway. I covered my mouth to stifle my laughter, he was crouched down like you would see guys in bad spy movies and began to creep into the room.

"dun dun dah nah!" The kid shouted and he started jumping across all the desks in the back row until he half somersaulted into an empty chair and slumped down into it resting his hand on his cheek. He was staring at the wall intensely.

I had completely forgotten about Malfoy until he started playing with his glasses case.

"Hahaha….shhhh….hehe" He was rolling it up and down his desk repeatedly like an entertained three year old. When anyone would shush him he would stop and look around and shush the air.

'Okay, I'm dreaming I've settled it.'

The longer I watched Malfoy play with his glasses case the more entertaining it became. I started to laugh as well.

"Hey do you think class is over?" Malfoy stopped rolling the case and turned towards me completely. It would have been intimidating if it weren't for his new look.

"Yeah, were pretty much done." I just smiled at him and started to pack my stuff up. I was waiting for the moment I would wake up and laugh about this ridiculous dream.

"BRRRINNNG!" The bell rang and everyone filed out of the room, leaving Malfoy and I behind to gather our supplies.

'Any second now'

"Are you going to wear a onesie tomorrow for Pajama Day?" Malfoy asked as he stuffed his parchment into his bag crumpling most of it.

"OKAY ENOUGH! What the heck is going on, you've turned into…into…I don't even think there is a word that can describe you at the moment!" I dropped my bag and reflexively my hands went to my hips.

'"Woah, relax Granger I just asked if you were going to wear a onesie, no need to freak out on me." He flung his arms up to emphasize my apparent freaking out.

"Ok, I have officially been self diagnosed Insane, and yes Malfoy I'll be wearing my onesie tomorrow for Pajama Day." I grabbed my bag and walked past his out to the hallway pausing only to hear his reply.

"So, I take it you enjoyed the Prank!" he shouted over his shoulder and laughed as he passed me.

'…'

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" I shrieked, I threw my bag down and grabbed my book and chucked it at his back.

"Ow, geez Granger….hahahahaha oh you should see your face!" I had no doubt that if I could have steam coming out my ears it would be suffocating the hallway at this point.

"Happy Prank Day Granger!" He turned and ran down the hallway at full speed and skidded around the corner.

I had forgotten Prank Day, again…


End file.
